A fictional demo couple. Your report is written from your two sets of answers.
- Lerato · Sanguine · Words of Affirmation
- Daniel · Melancholic · Acts of Service
Why the same arguments keep coming back
Most of your arguments start the same way. Lerato suggests a plan on the spot, and Daniel goes quiet. Lerato reads the silence as a no, or worse, as not caring. It is neither. As a Melancholic, Daniel needs time to think a plan through before he can say yes to it.
Underneath, you are asking for the same thing in different languages. Daniel shows love by doing: he sorted Lerato's laptop and booked the car service without being asked. Lerato needs to hear it. To her, a quiet week of favours can feel like a week of distance.
Clash 1
Last-minute plans
Why it happens
A new idea lifts Lerato's energy. Daniel feels steady when he knows what's coming. A surprise plan asks him to give up the thing that makes him feel safe.
What to do
Lerato: share the idea, then give Daniel until this evening to answer. Daniel: instead of going quiet, say what you need to say yes, like "Yes, if we're home by nine."
Your report has five sections like this one, plus a love language plan for each of you.
